I certainly didn't. In fact, I was logging on to blogspot to start a whole new blog. A journal just for me. A place to write my thoughts and post things that probably only I care about. For posterity or whatever. Anyway, tonight I have so much on my mind. About Death. And life. And it's not as morbid as it sounds. Dave's Aunt Darlene died last Saturday, which set me to thinking about family and love and regret. And learning. But most of all about becoming. This, in my view is what Darlene did beautifully. She did a lot of living and learning from her mistakes. And all the while she was becoming someone amazing. Someone who loved people, and life, and all things sparkly. And my kids. She never missed a birthday party, and even hosted one or two. And our toy box is rife with memories of her in the form of trinkets and toys she gave to my kids along her way. She wasn't perfect, but that didn't matter. To her or anyone else for that matter. Because she was always becoming. Becoming a little more loving, and a little more loved. Becoming a little more faithful. More of a blessing to more people that she ever knew. And I hope to take her message of becoming, and leave my regrets in the past as I become more of the person that I want to be.
Today, just a week after Darlene passed, my own grandma died. Her death was far less tragic. She was old, and so very sick. Very few remnants of the person she was remained and her death was more of a relief from suffering than a tragedy to suffer through. But it's still sad , and life will be different with her gone. Some differences will be good, and some will be painful and some will be unexpected. But I really never want to forget what death has taught me this week. Which is that life is precious and the loving bond of a family is what will bring the most joy in this life. Whether that family is as distant as an aunt-in-law or as close as a grandma it doesn't matter. I;ve heard it said that we should live like this was our last day on earth, but it takes watching someones last day on earth to really understand what that means. In the last week I have loved more sincerely and felt more deeply than I have in a long time. And it's a good reminder. Life is precious, and love is essential. I hope I never forget.
