Summer Lovin'

Yes. I love summer. The most. No school, no homework, no schedules. Just me, the kids and enough heat to drive us out of the house and to the nearest water! It doesn't matter much to us if it's the beach, the pool, or that puddle out in the front yard. We just want to be out in the sunshine. Many of my friends asked me what summer school program I had my kids enrolled in so I decided to enroll them in home making 101. This meant that every morning they would make their beds, rinse their breakfast dishes and do a chore or two. I have to say that all of our attendance was lacking. Because summer was calling! So we lived it up. And the house went undusted, the floors unvacuumed. There was no sweeping or mopping. There was just fun. Do I regret it? Nah. There's always next summer...

Would you regret it??

Dear Lady at Target

This morning I went to Target. This is something that happens a lot in my life. Except for today, when we got there, Dexter said that he didn't want to ride in the cart. I'm sure I was checking my list and planning dinner for that night and everything in between and I barely heard him. I'm sure that I said something totally infuriating like, "OK sweetie." As I strapped him into the seat. And the next thing I know, he is screaming at the top of his lungs that he would please like to be let out of the cart. So I came to and told him that we would just be a minute and as soon as we were done shopping I would let him out. Which only made him more furious. Actually, his reaction was a little alarming to me as he quickly became so out of control that I had to get Cyrus out of the cart so he would be out of harms way. And now I was in a bit of a bind because I hadn't listened to Dex when he was calm, and now he was so out of control that there was NO WAY I could let him out now. So I resolved to only get the three or four most important things and get out of there as quickly as possible. Only I couldn't find the one most important thing I came there for, which was underwear for Dexter. Oh yeah. I forgot to add that we were both under a bit of stress due to the whole potty training situation that I had instigated the day before. So here we are. He's screaming, I'm holding Cyrus and looking for just the right undies to make him actually want to pee in the potty like a big boy and Sydney and Coby are doing the usual: being perfectly patient while I figure things out. And then I hear a lady talking to Dex. She's telling him something like, "Calm down. Screaming is not nice." Thanks stranger. I'm sure that's going to help. Like I didn't already try that. And then she sees me and begins to give some passive parenting advice . Something like he's going to be a bad kid. And something else about being a trouble make all his life. And the coup De gras: You should spank him. Yes. That will help. So I'm pretty embarrassed and a little emotionally drained by now so I nod and thank her for her sound parenting advice. The truth is that I'm not a spanker. I never have been. But I'm not about to be THAT mom. With the totally out of control kid saying, "I don't believe in spanking." So we part ways and I get the heck out of there as fast as I can. And on the way home, after Dex and I had calmed down and established time out procedures for when we got home I began to think about parenting and discipline and here's what I would really have liked to tell the lady at Target: The love I have for these babies of mine makes it so I never want to hit them. I want them to behave, and I want them to be polite, and I want them to never scream "get out of here" even at overly intrusive strangers in the market. But I want them to know that I love them. I want them to feel loved, and when their little emotions are so wound up that they can't bring them under control, I want to teach them coping mechanisms. And I want my love to ground them. And someday, if I love them enough and teach them what is right then they will come to me with their problems. And we can learn to cope. Together. And they will know that I love them. No matter what. Even when they have misbehaved terribly. And if they know that they are loved no matter what, then they will be able to give love and feel love. And maybe, just maybe if I never hit them, they will learn to never hit. And the world will be a little more peaceful.
Today I learned that really bad days are part of the beauty of life because they teach us a lot.

Seriously though, could you ever spank this guy. I truly hope that he always knows how much I love him.