Divinity

Sydney got baptized last week. There was one other girl who was getting baptized with her. A good friend of hers form the ward, which made the whole thing just that much sweeter. Especially because that friend was able to come to the rescue at the last minute with a pair of all white undies (whoops). As Megan and I were waiting at the edge of the font for the girls to come out I noticed that she was crying. It isn't uncommon for me to not cry . I'm just not a crier. And sometimes it bothers me. I feel the spirit and I'm so grateful for it's influence in my life. I understand the significance of watching your posterity make sacred covenants and I know that baptism is one of them. I was happy. And so at peace. But these things rarely make me cry. I pulled sweet Sydney out of the water and shared a few precious moments with her in the dressing room drying off and talking quietly about the gospel, the atonement and what it feels like to be taking steps on the path back to our Heavenly home. It was one of those rare and wonderful moments that life blesses us with. And my love grew. My love for the gospel, and my love for my family and my love for my Heavenly Father and His plan. But I still wasn't weepy. And then last night as I was reviewing my experiences in my head, something came to me. It was that I didn't feel love for Sydney because she had made the choice to be baptized. And to say that I was proud of her would also be misleading. What I felt was pure love. Maybe even charity. It was an overwhelming feeling that whether or not Sydney had chosen to be baptized, I would love her the same. And now what I feel is grateful for the part of me that is divinity because that is where those most pure and wonderful emotions come from. They are inside of us because of our divine nature. We are children of God, and that has real meaning. It's the first and most frequent thing we hear from primary on up, but it just sunk in for me. To be able to feel real pure love, or whole hearted trust and faith or unparalleled peace and safety in a dangerous or scary situation is a reality for us because we are part divinity. And every now and again (hopefully more frequently as I learn to follow Christ) I can tap into that wonderful and powerful part of me . And it is such a blessing.

I also want to include here that I love Sydney so much. I watch her play with her friends and help with her brothers, read, daydream. And I get excited about her future. If she keeps on the path that she is currently on she will be powerful beyond our greatest dreams for her.