Summer 2015. Best one yet!

Another amazing summer come and gone. I know I've said it before, but I live for summertime. 

I Love Marriage!

Let me start from the beginning. When Dave and I got married we received about 10 books about how to make a marriage work. It was funny, but made me a little nervous. What had I gotten myself into that there needed to be this many books written about how to do it?? And what made our friends so nervous for us that they bought us so many of them? So we decided we better read them. Just in case this was harder than we thought it would be. So we spent the better part of our first year of marriage in our tiny little studio apartment reading back and forth to each other.

Now here we are 12 years later. We have definitely had our fair share of miscommunication and a few knock-down-drag-out-all nighter type fights, but marriage isn't hard. In fact it's so easy that I think people complicate it just because they aren't used to such simplicity. They think they must be missing something. But they're not. Here it is: Love your spouse more than you love yourself. That's it! That is all there is to it. 

Here's an example just in case you're still confused. Dave wanted to go to law school. I was pregnant with our second child, and we had no money as Dave had just finished his PhD about a year before. So we talked about it and I didn't want him to go, but I could see that it had become a dream of his, so I supported him. He took the test, applied at a few schools and I was so nervous for him and about our future. He got into all of the schools that he applied to and decided to go to the top one. Perfect. We packed up our stuff and our 2 babies and headed up to Berkeley. I didn't want to be there, but I loved Dave and his big dreams. While we were there, life was a bit of a struggle. There was no money, no nearby family and Dave was swamped with school work. But Dave came home whenever he possibly could and played with the kids, and just generally made things seem fun. He sacrificed a spot in the top of his class to spend every spare minute with us. And I loved him for it. And he loved me for keeping my complaining to a minimum. Tada! Love. See? Easy. Don't complicate it!

Don't hold grudges. Say your sorry, even if the only thing your sorry for is that your spouse is upset. And you have no idea why. Don't yell. Don't name call. Say I love you. Every day. So many times that your friends say it's weird. Let it go. Laugh it off. Be loyal. Think about the things you love way more than the things that drive you crazy. Breathe deep. Pray hard. Love the struggle of sharing a life. I do. Dave is literally the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not because he's perfect, or I'm perfect, or life is so easy and romantic. Just because I decided it was true. And so it is. 

Here we are facing another competition season and the meets are on Sundays. In spite of the fact that for a whole year now I have been asking that they be on Saturdays. At least some of them. But then I got told tonight that they are on Sundays and the schedule is already set. As if I didn't ask last season for a change. And it breaks my heart because Sydney is such a beautiful gymnast and she works so hard and loves this sport so much. When Sydney was about four we were watching the US women's gymnastics team get their medals and she pointed to the top of the podium and said, "I'm going to stand there some day." And I got chills because I loved her drive and ability to dream big at such a small age. I have always loved how she comprehends the world around her at a level you might not expect from someone so small. She really is amazing and I love her so much. And then tonight I got home and put her to bed and was angrily doing the dishes and thinking about how much I hate that people don't care about the Sabbath day, as if it can be compartmentalized with other parts of "religion". "Why don't you just go to church in the mornings?" They ask. "Sydney has so much to offer this gym, and we'd love to advance her, but she has to keep Sundays open for us" her coach told me. Those words ring in my ears because I know it's true. She has potential to be the best in the world. And then it hit me: Who cares about being the best this world has to offer when you could be the best that the kingdom of God has to offer? You could keep the Sabbath day holy and never make it to the Olympics, and never receive the accolades and honors that go along with being the best in this world, but you could be something better. You could be the best in the eyes of our Heavenly Father. You could be the best where it matters most which is in the service of God. "But, behold, the righteous, the saints of the Holy One of Israel, they who have believed in the Holy One of Israel, they who have endured the crosses of the world, and despised the shame of it, they shall inherit the kingdom of God, which was prepared for them from the foundation of the world, and their joy shall be full forever." 2 Nephi 9:18. It's not easy. In fact it is harder than I ever imagined it would be. But I believe it's worth it. 

And Sydney is so much more than a beautiful gymnast. I love her to the moon and back

Ninja Mom

Seriously, being a mom is like being a spiritual and emotional ninja. You never know what your kids are gonna throw at you. "Where do babies come from?" (Hiya!) "My best friend called me lame at school today" (wham!) crying for no apparent reason (thwack!). It can be exhausting, and definitely requires constant prep. Just one of the ways that having kids has made me a better person.


                             


Mostly it's this little love that keeps me on my toes.

But all of them together can really make me sweat! This picture is from the day after Dexter's 4th birthday. He kept insisting that birthday boys only eat cake and never wear shirts. So, cake for dinner, shirts optional.

This is him on his birthday. Yup, no shirt. For three days. *sigh*.

But that's the easy stuff. What do you do when best friends move away? And school friends make them feel insecure? 

Even that's pretty easy. What about my 9 year old who has to tell her coach that she can't compete with the team because the meets are on Sundays? Or an acquaintance at school tells her they tried a cigarette? Sometimes the waves of life make it hard to hold tight to the iron rod. But these kids are strong. I just pray that I can be too!